Some people are oozing with self confidence while others also have very little of it. A person’s self confidence comes from a combination of his environment and his personality.
There are ways of building self confidence. If you want to help a friend or family member improve his self confidence, make sure to avoid doing the following. Listed below are common mistakes made when boosting self confidence.
Giving Too Much Praise and Saving Criticism for Another Day
When you want to build a person’s confidence, say in drawing or singing, it helps to praise the person. But don’t say you’re great or you’re so talented if it isn’t the case.
He is bound to realize what you’re saying is merely getting lip service.
Only give praise when it is due. You are not building up confidence by over-praising.
In fact, it will seem like lying knowing the work or result was really second-rate.
When you are giving praise to someone, stop right there.
Save the criticism, constructive or otherwise for the next day. Let him savor the moment for the time he did good. Even if there is room for improvement, leave it.
Praising then criticizing is like inflating the ego and pricking it with a huge needle afterwards.
Using a Sibling or Colleague as Model
Comparison is a big no-no in boosting self-confidence. Saying “why can’t you be like your sister?” that is one big letdown.
People have different strengths and weaknesses. And even if they are related, they are still separate and unique individuals. Comparing him to another person usually serves to discourage rather than encourage. He will feel not good enough and would rather not compete. Find ways to inspire the person to do better. Compare him to the time he did good. Not when others did good. You can focus on the person’s past accomplishment and remind him of it. He will remember how he felt and the increase in self-confidence at that particular moment. Use that as a model instead. Compare him to himself and no one else.
It helps if you are honest in your praise. Insincerity can be sensed a mile away. If you are merely saying nice things but do not mean it, it would be useless.
Only say what you truly believe in and not what you think the other person wants to hear. Sincerity is felt and cannot be forced.
If you cannot say a good thing, then say it in a diplomatic manner.
Think of when you are giving a flattering comment. You give that comment because it is true. Not because you feel you have to.
Remember that you are saying these things because you want to boost the morale of a person. If you are insincere or even lying straight-faced, what purpose does that serve?
It is like kicking a person when he is already on the ground.
The desire to help boost a person’s self-confidence is a noble act. But in the process, you have to make sure you are doing the right thing. The purpose will be defeated otherwise. Learn about common mistakes in this case and avoid them by all means.